


Swear Words

by Mimifreed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Bronze&Gold, Canon Compliant, Discord: Dumbledore's Armada, F/M, Flash Fic Competition, Metamorphmagus, Order of the Phoenix Missions (Harry Potter), POV Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin Swears, Remus Lupin Swears Like a Sailor, Tonks has a crush, Tonks is a Klutz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimifreed/pseuds/Mimifreed
Summary: Remus swore under his breath and the absurdity of the sound caused Tonks to chuckle.He gave her a strange look. "What?""You!" she laughed. "You're so proper most of the time..."
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 16
Kudos: 48
Collections: Bronze & Gold





	Swear Words

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Starryar (Breadmione)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breadmione/pseuds/Starryar) in the [BronzeGold](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/BronzeGold) collection. 



> Written for the Bronze & Gold Flash Fic Competition hosted by pandora_rose_xo and starryar on the Dumbledore's Armada Discord! 
> 
> My prompt was **Nymphadora Tonks**
> 
> WINNER BEST ROMANCE!
> 
> A ridiculous amount of love for my alphabeta DrunkenWinky-- who is the absolute best human and I have no idea what I would do without her.

Tonks narrowed her eyes at her own reflection in the mirror, her face pinched in thought as she surveyed the chin-length, green bob her hair was in.

"Not really my colour," she muttered to herself.

She screwed up her face and a shiver of familiar magic rippled down her spine. Her hair shrunk back into her head, closer to her scalp, and lay in an array of cropped, tomato red curls. She took a few moments to turn from side to side, checking her reflection again.

_No, still not quite right…_

Over and over she screwed her face up in concentration. Thick, black, waist-length waves; shoulder-length turquoise; short, banana yellow...none of which seemed right. Finally, after the seventh try, she settled on pin-straight, tangerine orange hair that hung in a shiny curtain to her elbows. Her heart shaped face framed by soft layers that brought out her deep, blue eyes.

Tonks pulled on her heavy dark boots and gave her appearance one more check in the mirror.

Her mother had often bemoaned her grungy style of black drain-pipe jeans that had more holes than fabric and band shirts that were older than she was. She hated the vibrant purple robes that Tonks insisted on wearing and the multiple necklaces that she loved. She constantly griped at her, begging her to wear a dress and to fix her hair into something more suitable for a woman her age—a sentiment that had always been met with a snort of laughter from Tonks.

But, it didn't matter what her _mum_ thought about how she dressed or what colour she morphed her hair into. Because _he_ liked it—liked _her_.

Of course, he had never outright said it. But, in the last two months of Order meetings and conversations between them, he had always pointed out the shirt she wore, complimented her hair, or asked how she got a hole in her jeans. He never failed to offer her a kind smile and the twinkle in his eyes—the deepest shade of green Tonks had ever seen—seemed to be reserved just for her.

And tonight, Tonks was finally going to pluck up the courage to ask the reserved Gryffindor out for a pint after their assignment was through.

They were supposed to be observing some Ministry official or another who was rumoured to be dealing in illegal potion trades. Moody thought they might be trying to import classified ingredients in order to make some sort of nefarious potion that would help the Death Eaters. Tonks thought it more likely that it was someone trying to smuggle in Acromantula eggs to sell off for profit, but she wasn't going to be the one to tell Moody that she disagreed with him. Besides, the moment she heard she would be partnered with _him_ , for once, she found she didn't much care about the reasoning behind the assignment.

When Tonks' feet hit the uneven flagstone of the pathway leading up to a dilapidated looking cabin, her ankle rolled and she stumbled to the side. Catching her balance, she righted herself and began her stride up the path, pausing in front of the door to knock. Within moments, the door sprung open—behind it stood a tall, shabby man with honey coloured hair that hung in his kind, scarred face.

"Wotcher, Remus!" Tonks said, a smile blazing over her features.

"Hello, Tonks." Remus responded, politely. "I'll just grab my cloak and we can be off."

She gave a sharp nod and waited outside of the cabin, taking notice of the wilted begonias and shriveled up shrubs that lined the overgrown pathway. She had never been to this safe house before, which was strange. She was certain she had visited all of the locations in the few short months since she had been inducted into the Order of the Phoenix. She wondered briefly if she should follow him inside, but the moment she had made up her mind and pushed the cracked door fully open, she collided with Remus' chest.

"Oi—sorry mate!" Tonks said brightly. She smiled up at the much taller man.

He returned the smile, and she felt her stomach flip in on itself. A flutter of nerves made her heart speed up a tick, and she squashed them down. Once they'd completed their task, would she allow herself to feel giddy in the presence of Remus Lupin, but not before then.

* * *

One of the things Tonks really liked about Remus was that no matter how much she talked, he never asked her to be quiet. She had spent much of her life being told that she must like the sound of her voice, because she never stopped using it. In reality, she just had a lot to say. She never understood the point in keeping your thoughts to yourself—it often proved to be detrimental and borderline lying for most. And Tonks was not, and never would be, a liar. So, she spoke her mind. If she liked something, she said she liked it. If she found something repulsive, well...she maybe wasn't as graceful as her mother when showing her distaste for something, but she certainly wouldn't say she liked it if she didn't.

Halfway through the evening, a lull of conversation finally fell between the two. She had just been telling Remus about the time at Hogwarts when she and Charlie Weasley got caught in the Forbidden forest by the Centaurs while searching for baby unicorns and ended up with detention from Filch for two months.

It had not gone past her notice that Remus had offered little to the conversation all night. From Sirius, she knew that Remus had a penchant for pranks and hijinks that bested even hers in school, but he never talked about it. At least, not in the way Sirius did.

"Sorry," she mumbled, now feeling bad about directing the flow of conversation all evening.

"What for?" Remus asked, turning, as best he could, to look at her.

They sat in close proximity, stuffed in a rubbish bin that she had enlarged to fit them both inside. Remus, the brilliant bastard, had charmed the bin so they could see through it, but no one could see inside. A really impressive bit of magic, if Tonks could say so, herself.

"I've been yammering on all night," she explained. "I've probably gone and given you a headache!"

"You haven't," Remus insisted, a kind smile on his face. "I like listening to you talk, your stories are always entertaining."

She felt her cheeks warm up and she suddenly became very aware of how close they were sitting. The outside of Remus' right thigh pressed tightly against her left, the puffs of hot breath scented faintly with chocolate and tea, the slight smirk that lit his features…

"Happy to be shoved in a skip, are you?"

He twisted slightly to look at her, "What do you—"

At that moment, an old wizard in a set of tattered, dirty robes tossed what seemed to be several days worth of rubbish into the bin, showering them with bits of foul food. Remus swore under his breath and the absurdity of the sound caused Tonks to chuckle.

Remus gave her a strange look. "What?"

"You!" she laughed. "You're so proper most of the time! It's weird to hear you say something like 'fuckin hell' out loud."

"Tell that to Sirius," Remus muttered, vanishing most of the rubbish from their hideout. "He'd tell you I don't know any other words."

"I'm calling hippogriff shit on that!" Tonks laughed, "I think that's the first time in your life you've ever muttered a swear!"

"I am thirty-five years old, Tonks," Remus said, an amused smile on his lips. "I assure you, I have used swears before now."

"Yeah?" Tonks goaded, "What are some of your favorites then?"

For the next twenty minutes, Tonks stifled laughter as Remus gave her a running list of his favorite swear words. Hearing phrases like 'buggering fuck', 'fuck trumpet', 'cockwomble', and 'pissflaps' come from the usually kind and eloquent mouth of Remus Lupin had Tonks folded in half with giggles inside the small space. Remus had gone so far as to put a _muffliato_ on them, so the passersby wouldn't get suspicious of the cackling rubbish bin.

Finally, the wizard they were supposed to be looking out for had come and gone. Just as she had suspected, the man had left behind a small crate of Venomous Tentacula spawn and took with him a fat sack of Galleons. Tonks sent the report to Moody via _Patronus_ and clambered out of the cramped can.

Thanks to the combination of the uneven cobble of the alley and having her feet tucked under her for several hours, her numb legs wobbled and her toe of her boot caught the stones. Tonks stumbled, falling forward, only to be caught by a pair of scarred hands at the elbows. Her eyes met Remus' and he dropped his grip on her, a blush staining his cheeks.

"Heading back to headquarters, then?" Tonks asked.

"No. I'll be heading back to the cabin. Full moon is in three days, I don't like to be at Headquarters when it comes."

"The cabin…hold on…" she said, slowly. "That ruddy old place is _yours_?"

Remus bristled, "Yes."

"Sorry!" Tonks said, quickly trying to recover. "I didn't mean...I just meant that you shouldn't have to be alone if you don't want to be. What about dinner? We could—"

"It's not a good idea Tonks," Remus murmured.

"And why not?"

Remus stared at her, deadpanned. "I've just said the full moon—"

"You said it's three days away! You've got to eat before then, I reckon."

An incredulous puff of laughter pulled from his throat, "Yes, I do."

"You got a better offer then, do you? Seconds stew with Kreacher and Sirius or a sandwich by yourself?"

"Porridge, probably." Remus answered.

"How 'bout it, then? Fancy a pint and some chips? I'd say it's a far cry better than that sad excuse for a dinner."

Remus surveyed her for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. He leaned forward and pulled a bit of the mouldy bread from her hair, flicking it to the ground. Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, alright."

Tonks beamed, wrapping her arm around his to prepare to apparate them both to the Leaky. "Wicked. You can tell me in what context I would use 'rat-arsed muppet' while we're at it."

Remus looked down at her and awarded her the largest grin she'd seen yet, sending another swirl of flutters through her. As they apparated away from the alley, the only thought in Tonks' mind was that she really hoped she was partnered for assignments with Remus again.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I am humbled by the response I received to my silly little flash comp piece! Thank you so SO much to everyone who voted! You guys are the best.


End file.
